Competitions to see who could tear me apart faster, you or me

so many years

of constantly competing with

you

we could keep running laps

and the further

I am from

you,

the more distance between us,

the faster my feet

hit the pavement,

doesn’t seem to be enough to

keep you from

winning

even when it seems

I’ve hit the finish line

and out ran you

for miles

you

still

win.

but winning was never your

plan

was it?

 

no,

you wanted to drown us in

guilt

and sink us in sadness

or disguise yourself in kindness

to fill us with madness

 

never stopped and realized that you

also fueled us with

anger

and watched us

burn in our misery

but we were blind to all of it

on our own accord

 

because loving you was

better than loving ourselves

loving you was like rain

I took you in drizzles and I took you in storms

always forgetting all at once that you’d make me sick

and I was never one for doctor’s visits

– D.R.