It wasn’t rape

i was the one who invited him to come over


it wasn’t rape

i didn’t even have sex with him


it wasn’t rape

i let him kiss me


it wasn’t



he took off his shoes

invaded my netflix account

and I sat on the bed


it wasn’t rape

I let him take my shirt off

let him touch me in places I wouldn’t even

touch myself


but it wasn’t rape


I didn’t say no

but I didn’t say yes either

he just kept asking me why


when I pushed his hands off of my half naked body


but it wasn’t rape


he stopped touching me like I was his

but then after a few moments of silence

i found his tongue searching my mouth for something

he probably would never find


it wasn’t rape

I think I kept saying no

i thought my fist landed in his face

i thought I told him to get out

i thought…


it wasn’t rape

when I found his hand reaching lower

and lower

I pushed him away


he asked me





because no isn’t an answer


it wasn’t rape


no this, was a mistake


my mistake

his mistake


but why am I the one who feels so ashamed?


5 thoughts on “1/28/18

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s