Lately, I have been having problems with my self image. I have been struggling with my disordered eating for a while now and I can tell it is becoming a bigger problem and I can see others have been noticing too. It is only now that I am seeing that it is a problem. It is only now that I am not afraid to admit that I have a problem with food. I am afraid… of food. To some, this sounds ridiculous, but for many, this is a serious and difficult issue that many people are struggling with, just like I am.
Lately, I have been feeling unattractive, disgusted with myself and the way I look. I have been afraid to eat certain things or when I do eat those things I continuously feel guilty and afraid of the consequences, which then leads back to my warped and negative body image issues. I know that I have to think differently in order to feel differently, and all though I have been feeling better about a lot of things lately, my relationship with food has been a really hard battle to get through. I have been trying, I really have, but it’s not that simple. Whether you are struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating (there is a difference and if you want me to talk about that, please, let me know) and you can relate to these difficulties, we have to know that there is something better for us out there, there are ways to get help and feel better, and although I’m not completely ready to talk about it yet, there is a want and a need for me to feel happy and this is one thing that is stopping me. I also know that there will be a day where I am NOT afraid, you will have one too. I seriously wish you all the best and happiness because you deserve it, we ALL deserve it.