I know that I’ve been away for a while now, but I am glad to be back and writing. I would like to mention that things are looking up right now and a few stories must be told, a few poems written, and then these blogs will have happier notes… I hope. First, we must take things slow and steady. It begins with baby steps. There are a few thoughts that I’ve been wanting to share to anyone that will listen, a few things that will help me speak my truth and I hope that by sharing, I will begin to feel better too.
After I had been absent from Blue Birdies in mid April, I had taken a few steps back into my cave of darkness and wallowed in my sadness. This was because I had been thinking negatively and I also had received an unexpected (but secretly hoped for) phone call, from what now is “somebody I used to know”. I was also keeping busy, stressing about moving out before the end of my freshman year, which brought its own set of feelings due to the fact that I’d never imagined myself being there and finishing my first year of college.
To be honest, I felt lost. Once again, I felt stuck in between who I was and who I wanted to be and I didn’t quite know how to do it yet because there was still something that was holding me back, sending me back into my sadness, besides my own self, of course.