Doves Do Speak

Did you hear it?

I said

I love you

except I didn’t say it

did I?

and that’s what makes you

ache

a slow burning

fire on the inside,

makes you long for

picking flowers in

the dawn of spring

I said it

with

every

breath in and out

of my body

I said it

with every

stroll down the pavement,

the twinkling disarray of street lamps in june

the crowded places filled of people, and food, and too much laughter

I said it with everyday

spent hanging out on the back of old broken down golf carts talking about

nothing and everything

I said it

with every glimpse up from the blank computer screen,

waiting to catch your smile,

I said it

almost every late night while I laid in bed

tired, and the only thing keeping me aglow was the anticipation of the syllables we didn’t

dare to speak out loud

I say it

with every time I pick up the phone

and remind myself to put it down

because I know

you’re better off without me

I say it

with every word written,

scratched out

inside the poems I think

I can secretly

hide you behind

I say it

with every tick on the clock

of the seconds

passing by

that used to be moments

we so often

put in the back of our pockets

as if we could save them for later

I say it

every time I have a single thought

of you

a small glimpse of an unfolded memory,

a watercolored daydream, too washed out to piece together,

some form of sick, twisted nightmare

every time that thought escapes me and is uttered into words

I catch the air and learn how to swallow swords.

I guess I forgot how when I talked, you were always too busy saying something else

you say,

like a magician awaiting the last act where the doves are finally set free,

that only the magic words

will open the locked cage to your heart

and rid me of the chains that are keeping me underwater

Well? Did you hear it?

 

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3 thoughts on “Doves Do Speak

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